Sleeping Beauty
by ViscountessKiera
Summary: A Rayearth twist on a classic tale. A Sleeping Beauty to put all Sleeping Beauties to shame, one thing though. What the...what do you mean Sleeping Beauty is a boy? Rated T for mild language,crude hummor and general desacration of a fairytale.
1. Fairytales

**An:**Hello everyone, yes I know I should be working on my other Rayearth story but I had flash inspiration and am suffering from writters block on "Ice and Snow" so here we go. No I don't own Rayearth, seriously you really thought I did?

1. Prolog-Fairytales

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_All fairytales without doubt begin with 'once upon a time.' All fairytales without a doubt have some maiden in need of rescue or some evil, vial creature in need of being slain, or a husband and wife desperately wishing for the birth of a child they can lovingly raise as their own._

_Our story is no different, for once upon a time in the Kingdom of Cephiro there was a King and Queen who wished desperately for a child. Cephiro is a land of whim and will, where prayer is power, so after much time and prayer their wishes were granted._

_And on this day King Zagato and Queen Emeraude joyously welcomed their first and only child into the world and…"_

"Wait! Hold on one minuet!!"

_Narrator looks around confused, "Who interrupted me?"_

"Oh please this is so boring, jazz it up a little, like they haven't all heard that a million times before! They'll tune out soon with all your boring droning and then what kind of reviews will we get? Anyways if this is a fairytale then it should be about fairies! Namely me!"

_Primera buzzes nosily around narrator's head like a Tinker Bell on steroids. "The story line has already been written and therefore no further input is needed on your part." Primera is yanked away screaming bloody murder. "For Mashin's sake shut that damn fairy up! Now where was I…? Oh yes."_

_On this day King Zagato and Queen Emeraude have joyously welcomed their first child into the world and all the Kingdom has been invited to attend a royal ball to welcome the child._

_With golden eyes brighter and purer than the finest gold and flaxen hair that shame the silk of Fahren, it has been said no one in Cephiro rivals the child in beauty. On this joyous day the King and Queen have invited three good fairies, as is custom in Cephiro, to bless the girl-child and…"_

"That means I'm up!" Primera is suddenly free from whatever force held her back previously.

"_Good fairies Primera, not bitchy pain in the ass fairies. How the hell did you get back here? Now be quiet and let me finish! Ahem yes now…"_

_Three good fairies were invited to attend…_

_Primera slides note from author to narrator. "What the hell is it now" Narrator reads note, reads note again…_

"_What the hell?! What do you mean Sleeping Beauty is a boy!?"_

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**An:** I do hope I have your interest. I promise to work on my "Ice and Snow" for all its readers that are reading this right now, gomen! Now onward!

VKiera out!


	2. A Curse

AN: Hello everyone, I finally managed to resuscitate my muse for this story, she dropped dead awhile back, took some effort and and some dealings on the black market, but she lives! So please enjoy the story. If you're an Ice and Snoww fan don't worry my muse for that story is just taking a nap she'll be back soon, hopefully with an update sometime in April.

I do not own Rayearth in any way shape or form, prolly a good thing considering what I'm doing to them in this story. XD

**1. A Curse**

"Hello everyone, this is Primera. Seeing how the Narrator has gone into shock I will pick up where she left off"

"_I am not in shock Primera, I was merely…surprised, I was not given the memo about Sleeping Beauty's…well…gender change…Someone please take Primera back stage!"_

"What? No way! I protest, this is a fairytale why are there no fairies in it?!" Primera is once again pulled off stage.

"_Cough. Ahem, yes well now where was I? Oh yes!"_

_On this joyous day the King and Queen have invited three good fairies, as is custom in Cephrio, to bless the BOY-child._

_This first fairy is the eldest and wisest of the fairies and quite short…_

_Ka-thunk!_"Well excuse me!" Clef's rather heavy staff comes down on the Narrator's head.

"_Damn it Clef, I am not Umi don't do that!"_

"Sorry it's in my contract, I have to hit someone with my staff at least once in every chapter I'm in, and it was in good reason." Clef glares at narrator.

"_I'm sorry that's what I'm supposed to say, take up your complaints with the author. Now will all of you please quit interrupting me, or we'll never finish the chapter."_

"Fine." Clef still glares daggers and turns back to the scene.

_High Fairy Clef steps forward and bows to the King and Queen. Their small infant son between them was sleeping peacefully._

_The second fairy is not far behind, a tall fairy and very handsome, but in a scary way…_

Lantis glances in the narrator's direction but says nothing.

_Shivers. "Uh…"Gulp/blushes._

_The third fairy is next and even taller than the scary fairy, and looks more like the Jolly Green Giant than a fairy._

"I can't help it I'm tall, it runs in my family." Geo waves his good fairy wand in a rapid motion.

_Sigh. Now the forth fairy… "Wait…there are only suppose to be three, why is there four on my call sheet?"_

Zazu skips in behind Geo, "I'm in training still see?" Points to his back which have training wings attached. "I'm a good fairy-in training, duu I can't do any of this stuff yet. You must be sixteen or older to use gift giving magic…at least that's what is says on the box these came in…" Shakes his wand. It spits sparkles and then dies… "Aww man…"

"_All right…in training…ok" Sighs. "I don't get paid enough for this…" Glares in direction of the author. "Now the four good fairies approach the small babe, who, now awake in his mother's arms, watches them with wide, curious gold eyes. Fairy Clef gives his gift first._

Clef raises his staff, "My gift shall be that of intelligence, knowledgeable and cunning shall be this child and wise beyond his years."

_Fairy Lantis proceeds to give his gift_, "My gift shall be the skills of a warrior, none shall surpass him." Flicks his wand quickly as if this whole ordeal bores him and then turns things over to fairy Geo.

"I will make him handsome; no one in the kingdom will rival him." Geo waved his wand.

"_So does the fairy in-training also give a gift? My script is lacking that detail?" Narrator glances at Zazu._

"Well I guess I can try, I haven't gotten a hold of these things yet…" Zazu shakes his wand and it spits sparks again. "I have no idea what to give him, they already covered just about all the good stuff…what am suppose to do, give him a good singing voice?"

_At this moment a dark wind blows though the hall._

"A dark wind? That's lame, who wrote that?" Primera shouts from somewhere off stage.

_Narrator masterfully ignores her._

"What's this, a party? And I was not invited? Such a shame…perhaps my invitation was lost?"

_A very skimpily clad Alcyone strikes her staff upon the marble floor._

"Do you think I like wearing this stuff, you have any idea how cold it is?" Glares and aims her comment and staff toward the narrator.

"_uhh…" Narrator hides behind Lantis and Clef._

"Who'd invite a creepy lady like you to a baby shower?" Zauz says and is quickly muffled by Geo.

"What's this, after I too came to give the infant prince a gift?" She glares sharp violet eyes at the fairies. "After all I too am a fairy, though much greater." She flicks her hair.

"We are sorry; we did not know you wised to attend." Queen Emeraude offered her apologies.

"Gurr…" Zazu growls from his place while Geo clamps a hand over his mouth. "Let me at her, I'll turn her into a toad…"

Alcyone laughs, "Such spirit, but pointless."

_The evil, skimpily clad fairy approaches the small baby prince._

"You child shall grow, and knowledge and beauty and strength shall all be yours, but upon your sixteenth birthday you will prick your finger on the point of an arrow and die!"

"No!" Emeraude cries

_Evil laughter fills the air as the evil fairy disappears in a cloud of smoke._

"Purple smoke is lame!" Primera comments from the peanut gallery again, "Pink is better!"

"_Now is not the time for your stupid remarks Primera."_

"No my son!" Queen Emeraude gathers her son in her arms. "Eagle..." The babe began to wail at the sound of the distress in his mother's voice.

"Is there not anything that can be done?" King Zagato asked.

"_Uh…well" Narrator gulps._

Everyone stares at the narrator.

"_The script says the trainee can do something. He hasn't given the kid a gift yet…" Glances at Zazu._

"What!? Me?!" he practically squeaks. "I can't undo that psycho ladies' magic!"

"No, but you can weaken it." Clef shoves the boy forward, "Go on, do it for the kid."

"Ok ok! I'll give it a shot."

_The youngest fairy shoves his sleeves up and his tongue sticks out in determination, points his wand and…nothing happens._

"We're doomed!" Primera flies around in circles above Lantis' head.

Everyone "Shut up Primera."

Primera pouts and sticks out her tongue.

"I'm not done yet!" Zazu shakes his wand at the fairy and threatens to turn her into a frog. "Now, the boy will prick his finger on an arrow but he wont die but only sleep, until his true love comes and gives him a kiss!" There is a rain of sparkles and the baby grins and tires to catch them from his mother's arms.

"That's the best you could come up with? His true love? How do you know he'll find someone in time?" Clef clocks the kid with his staff.

"Oww, oww oww! Hey it is the best I could do and this is a FARIYTALE. Aren't they supposed to have true love in them?" The boy rubs the rather large bump on his forehead. "Right?" he looks to the narrator for conformation.

_Narrator is in the middle of a dreamy sigh… "Huh? Oh…yes, yes! It's in the script!"_

"Wait, I thought I wasn't in the script earlier?" Zazu pointed an accusing finger at the narrator.

"We're doomed I tell you, doomed!" Primera has now landed on Lantis' shoulder; the man ignores her for the most part.

_Narrator gives Primera the evil eye for landing on __**her**__ Lan…errg…I mean the fairy Lantis._

"What you gotta problem girl? I can sit wherever I choose to!" Sticks her tongue out again.

"_Why you…." Narrator chases after Primera off stage. "Come back her you damn meddling wanna be good fairy. There is screaming and the sound of something breaking off stage._

"You wouldn't dare!!! $%$!!" Primera shrieks off stage.

_A few seconds later the narrator returns with a pixy wing between her fingers, grinning like Satan himself._

A now handicapped Primera crawls back on stage, one wing short. Lantis takes pity on her and picks her up plopping her on his shoulder.

Everyone makes a mental note to never piss the narrator off.

An: Hope everyone enjoyed, next chapter the Knights should show up, well should anyways, haha.


	3. Apples

**AN:** Sorry everyone, I don't mean to take so long to update this thing, I guess it takes a back seat to Ice and Snow, which takes a back seat to my school work, so yea, gomen! My muse for this story likes to go AWOL, alot! Oh and for your info, gaffers tape is a kinda of tape used in theater, sometimes along side spike tape. Anyways. Enjoy the story, I hope its as funny as the last chapter, humor is hard for me!

I don't own Rayeath, are you kidding? Look what I'm doing to it.

**2. Apples**

_Narrator sighs heavily. I apologize for the delay in our story but Primera's agent is in the process of suing me for assault and my lovely employer forgot to send me script pages and my pay check but finally all has been remedied. So we can continue…_

"Like hell it has you psycho b*%^$! I'll have your job by the time I'm though with you!" Primera shrieks from somewhere off stage.

Eagle who was about to make his entrance stage left pauses and sweat drops at the fairy's language but then enters on stage.

_Narrator ignores Primera but has an evil glint in her eye. _

Ascot, in the rafters adjusting a light gulps and decides not to pester her about the roll of his gaffer's tape that's gone missing.

_The years pass and little comes of the Evil Fairy's curse, though the use of a bow and arrows are forbidden in the entire kingdom and one of the three good fairies remained behind as a guardian to the young Prince._

_The Prince grew, in heath and in strength, becoming a fine warrior and on this day he'd gone for a ride with his best friend and his __**handsome**__ guardian._

Geo and Eagle roll their eyes at the narrator's poor attempt to flatter Lantis, who is for all intents and purposes completely oblivious to her existence.

Geo and Eagle clean their throats waiting for their cues. Lantis for the most part just looks bored, but doesn't he always?

_Narrator is still drooling._

"Cough" Geo tries once more.

_Still drooling._

From backstage a fan is flung, nailing the narrator squarely on the back of the head.

Apparently sound coordinators don't take kindly to narrators spacing off into la la land. Caldina glares and picks up a script book, ready to fling at will. "Ya done drinking yer fill in of him yet?"

_Uh…Snaps back to reality. Glares at Caldina rubbing her head. _

_The Prince had ridden far, leaving his friends behind. Coming to a shady place he decided he's stop and take a nap in a tree._

"Um…" Eagle glances up at the fake tree/cardboard cut out, "You want me to climb _that_?"

_Urg! Considering you sleep at the drop of a hat I don't see how it matters where you sleep?!_

"Well…it just doesn't look very safe is all…" Eagle reaches up and tugs on a branch and it breaks. He sweat drops and looks back at her…

_Fine you baby, you can sleep on the damn ground then. Just stay in character! We're never going to finish this damn play and I'm never going to get paid…_

Eagle flops down beneath the tree as the narrator rants and wonders when it'll be time for lunch. Hopefully the caterers brought cake.

_Meanwhile in some other part of the forest. _

"Lady Aska it is time to go" Fuu called to the small empress.

"I don't wanna! Aren't you supposed to guard me from danger not from having fun?" Aska whined.

_The Wind Knight sighed, guardian of the Fahren family she was but sometimes she felt more like a babysitter._

"Come on, come on!" The tiny girl tugged at Fuu's arm, "Let's having a shooting match and then we can go."

"Lady Aska! You know archery is forbidden in this forest, it is part of the Kingdom of Cephiro!" Chang Ang scolds her.

"Shut your trap you old geezer! The only reason for that is because of the prince! Is there any prince here? NOOOOOOO! So I want to have a match!" The child sized Empress whined in a very high and loud voice.

_Narrator covers her ears during said ranting and Eagle on the other side of the set, pretending to sleep, flinches at the grating sound. _

_Against her better judgment Fuu gives in. _

"Alright, one round and then we go home."

"Yay!" The girl screamed again, making everyone flinch. "Sang Yung, my bow!"

"Right away!" the small boy hurriedly handed his mistress what she called for.

Fuu called her bow forth from her glove gem. "Alright best of three shots wins?"

"Yes, yes!" Lady Aska squealed in delight.

_Pluck._

_Pluck._

_Pluck._

Three shots later, Fuu was the definite winner and a pouting empress was complaining about her bowstring breaking on her last shot, sending the arrow wildly into the woods.

_The stray arrow lands not far from the sleeping prince._

"We'll never find that loose arrow now…" Chang Ang sighs, worried.

"It's just an arrow big deal!" Aska crossed her arms.

"What if someone finds it and it is bought to the Cephirian Royalty?" Chang Ang scolded the child.

"Who's going to find it way out here?!" The empress protested as she was lead away.

Fuu looked back worriedly, "Well I guess no one's here so it should be alright."

_Meanwhile the Prince's guardian, Good Fairy Lantis, and his friend Geo are still searching for their charge. _

_Somehow the narrator manages to say Lantis' name without drooling. _

_While the men searched the Prince awoke from his nap and found a strange object he was not familiar with._

Eagle sat up and looked around for this 'object' but found nothing.

"_Props!!!" Narrator hisses, "Where's that arrow!??"_

Presea, the props coordinator shrugs "It was there a minuet ago…"

"Bwahahaha!" Primera files off with the arrow clutched between her tiny hands, straddling it as if it was a broomstick and she was a witch.

"_Put that back Primera!!" Narrator turns an unhealthy shade of red and fingers something behind her back that she's been saving for a moment like this._

"Like hell I will! Pay backs a cruel woman!" Primera buzzes over the narrator's head, "Let's see you have a show without me now!"

"_Eeh he he" the narrator laughs manically and pulls out something round and grey. There's the very recognizable sound of tape being pulled off a roll._

Ascot in the rafters adjusting a spot light suddenly realizes exactly where his gaffers tape went.

_Primera screams bloody murder as the narrator chases her off stage, the tiny fairy drops the arrow in her desperate attempt to escape being gaffer tapped to the wall. "Silence is golden you damn meddling fairy, but gaffers tape is silver!" _

Eagle sweat drops and picks up the arrow, attempting to finish his scene so he can go eat. "What ever could this be?" He briefly wonders asking the narrator about his lame ass lines but a shriek from backstage changes his mind and he continues.

"Oww!" said rather dramatically he pricks his finger on the arrow point and flops over, pretending to faint into a deep sleep.

At this very moment one of the black backdrop curtains falls from its place knocking out a light and leaving poor Ascot scrambling.

"Ahhhheeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Came a tiny scream from stage right.

"_You're mine now!!!! Bwa ahahaha!!"_

Umi and Hikaru are standing offstage next to the props table munching on cookies from the catering table.

"Gee wish we had popcorn" Hikaru nibbles on her cookie and shyly offers one to Lantis, who accepts.

"Oh my…" Fuu's eyes are as wide as plates as she sips a glass of water. "Are you alright Eagle?"

Eagle, having just left the stage had snagged an apple and joined the girls and Lantis to watch the circus show.

"I'm fine." He grins and eats his apple.

"Where'd you get the apple from?" Hikaru eyed the fruit.

"Oh over there." Eagle points to the props table where Presea is wondering what happened to her basket of apples.

"Um…Eagle I think those were a prop. Aren't they doing Snow White next week?" Fuu wondered thoughtfully.

"Oops…" Eagle grinned sheepishly.

"Do you think they'll ever get to us?" Umi asked Hikaru.

"I don't think so…" the redhead sighed.

"Don't you dare! Nooooo………" Primera shriek is cut short by the sound of adhesive tape being unwound. There's a lot of scuffling and then only muted screams.

All three girls plus two men sweat drop.

"Should we save her?" Fuu questioned but the glares she received answered that question.

"So who's up for dinner?" Hikaru chirped.

"Sounds good to me." Umi agreed.

"I'm in!" Caldina shuts off the sound equipment as Ascot hops down and hits the lights out. Presea followed suit and put down her basket of now missing apples.

The stage was left empty save for the darkness and the sounds of falling sets and sound equipment and the manically laughter of one slightly mental stage manager/narrator.


End file.
